


Don't poke holes in my daughter.

by RonnieTheZombie



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Crack, F/F, Fluff and Humor, Fluff and Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-23
Updated: 2018-02-23
Packaged: 2019-03-23 00:56:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,260
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13776270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RonnieTheZombie/pseuds/RonnieTheZombie
Summary: Emma got a tongue ring....need I say more (Fluffy cracky smutty one shot)





	Don't poke holes in my daughter.

**Author's Note:**

> I made this a prompt for someone else to write. But when it took too long, I decided to loose a night of sleep and write it myself. I know I still have a SQ fic that has been on the back burner for over 6 months but I will get to it...at some point. Let me know what you think.

Maybe it was because she had found her parents and finally had someone to rebel against, or maybe it was because her thirties were hitting her and she felt old. But whatever the reason, Emma Swan, the sheriff of Storybrooke, was sitting in the loft living room with a giant swollen tongue and some disappointed looks from her parents. David and Mary-Margaret could do nothing but watch as their daughter, their little baby girl, downed ice cubes like they were two-for-one shots at the Rabbit hole.

 

"What could have made you do this, Emma?" The school teacher asked.

 

"Donsh wowwie, sje sjwellin woull sho jown." Emma tried, but the imposing force between her teeth wouldn't let the words make sense.

 

Marry-Margaret just shook her head and furrowed her brow. "What?"

           

"She said 'don't worry the swelling will go down', I think." David interpreted.

 

The teacher could only let out an angry sigh. "I don't care about the swelling, what could possibly make you get a tongue piercing? How did you get one in any case? It's not like we have tattoo parlors here."

 

"Wooby." Emma tried again.

           

"She said Ruby."

                       

"Yes I got that."

 

A knock on the door broke some of the tension, but when Mary-Margaret saw who their guest was, it came back in triple fold.

 

"Ruby!" The teacher fumed.

 

The wolf could see the fire burning in her old friends' eyes and wanted to get out of there as quickly as she could. "Sorry to bother. I just brought some cold sodas from the diner. Thought our sheriff will appreciate them." She put the six pack on the tiny kitchen counter and made a bee line for the door.

 

The teacher was quick to block her escape. "Oh no you aren't going anywhere. Not until you tell us why you poked a hole in our daughter!"

 

"Sowwy Wooby." The sheriff mumbled from her seat in the lounge.

 

"She mentioned that she never had one, and I had some experience so I offered. It's not as if she needed parental consent." The waitress whispered the last part to her shoes.

 

"No she doesn't." David agreed.

 

Mary-Margaret could do nothing but scowl at her husband. And then she turned to her daughter with folded arms. "If you want to stay under my roof, you will do as I say and I say get that thing out of your mouth."

 

Emma nearly dislocated her jaw. "Awe you sewwious?"

 

The teacher lifted her chin in an attempt to let her daughter know she is serious.

 

Emma didn't say anything, she just grabbed her signature red jacket, the sodas and the waitress and left. She definitely wasn't going to be treated like a sixteen year old.

 

"You can have your old room at the diner. No one has used it in months." Ruby said as they headed down the stairs. Emma just nodded, the pain quickly returning.

 

\------------------------------------------------

 

It was later that afternoon when Granny decided the blond deserved some ice cream. She had helped Granny with the giant load of dishes from the lunch rush as a means to repay their kindness. The diner was empty except for Leroy fixing a broken light bulb and the Sheriff could pick any booth she wanted, but settled for the counter instead. She was just about to dig into her sundae when the bell clanged above the door.

 

"Miss Swan." The sultry sexy mayor sauntered her way towards the sheriff. Her pencil dress singing against the sway of her hips. "I went to the station but you weren't there. I have some paperwork you need to sign." She handed Emma the folder and the sheriff quickly flipped to the dotted line. "Really? You aren't even going to read them?"

 

Emma didn't know what to do. She was too embarrassed to say anything. The last thing she wanted was for Regina to hear her slur and mumble her words. As if the Mayor didn't cause her to mumble enough already. So she shook her head and signed. With a nervous smile she handed back the folder.

 

Regina gave her a quizzical look. "Henry wants to spend the day with you tomorrow. Will you be available?"

 

The still smiling Emma nodded.

 

"He wants to go for pizza or hamburgers."

 

Again Emma nodded, but quickly realized her mistake, Regina would never let Henry go for Pizza on a Sunday. It was a Friday or Saturday thing, and only if Regina is in a good mood. She shook her head nervously.

 

Regina folded her arms in the same way that Emma's mother did, and she knew she was busted. "Alright Miss Swan. What gives? Were you practicing magic again or did Gold curse your voice away?"

 

Emma's worst fear was about to be realized. Embarrassing herself in front of the Mayor. Her eyes widened as the scenario played out in her head, ending with an image of her grave. She swallowed hard and cleared her throat.

 

"I gotch a chong wing." she said as slowly as she could.

 

Regina slowly started to smile, and that smile went wider until the Mayor burst out laughing.

 

It happened. Emma's worst fear. She wasn't expecting to talk to Regina while the swelling was still so bad and thought that the piece of jewelry might score her some points in the sexy department with the Mayor. But now all she was, was a mumbling idiot.

 

"It pissed Snow off." Ruby saw the distress her friend was in and quickly intervened.

 

"Did it now?" Regina's face morphed from amused to content in a few seconds. " I have something in my vault that will help with that swelling." She said to the sheriff with a smirk and a raised eyebrow. Emma could only nod the affirmative before the two disappeared in a cloud of purple smoke. Leaving Ruby with a half eaten sundae to finish.

 

\-------------------------------

 

"Drink this." Regina handed Emma a vial of green liquid that looked like ogre vomit. The sheriff took the vial and studied it carefully.

 

"Wot ish it?" She asked in disgust as she saw something float towards the top of the liquid.

 

"Oh now you care about the details? Just drink it. If I wanted to maim or kill you I wouldn't use a measly potion to do it." Regina said as she sat down on one of the stone benches in the vault. "Besides, you seem perfectly capable of maiming yourself." She laughed.

 

Emma popped the cork on the vial and quickly downed the disgusting liquid. It left a bile taste on what was functioning of her taste buds but soon she couldn't taste anything at all. Her entire face went numb and soon her body followed suit. She collapsed unto her rear end tried to make sense of what was happening. Regina gave another chuckle. "I should warn you of one side effect though."

 

Emma felt the numbness fade and soon her limbs were back to full strength. "Side effect?" She asked Regina and realized she didn't slur. She ran to the mirror and stuck out her tongue to make sure, and sure enough the muscle had returned to normal size. Perfectly healed with the jewel still decorating it. She turned back to Regina. "What side effect?"

 

Regina smirked and leaned back, crossing her legs to give some support. Emma felt her breath leave her body at the sight of the mayors dress riding up her legs. "Oh you have probably started to feel it already." The mayor said through hooded eyes.

 

Emma swallowed hard. And then she realized it. She was getting really, really horny. Well, more than usual when the mayor is involved. She pinched her legs to try and get rid of the pain at her core but it was getting worse, fast.

 

Regina stood and walked to were the sheriff was standing. Emma tried to calm her breathing but it didn't work. "How...long...will it...last?" She tried.

 

Regina stroked her cheek and leaned in to whisper into Emma's very sensitive ear. "I think you know that answer too."

 

The sheriff felt like she was loosing her balance. The Mayor was flush against her and every touch felt like it had a thousand echoes. She had no control. She pulled away from the Mayor only to return her lips with a crashing force against Regina's, pulling her even closer.

 

Regina didn't stop her. Instead she flung her hands into blonde locks and tried for more contact. Their kiss deepened and a foreign feeling hit Regina when she tasted the metal jewel that caused all of this in the first place. Her mind whirled with the sensation.

 

Emma didn't see it as a side effect any more. In fact she wanted this feeling to last for as long as possible. She unzipped the back of Regina's dress and the mayor let it drop to her feet before stepping out of it. Emma took the moment to admire the goddess before her, the one that was now wearing nothing but matching black lace underwear. Her staring didn't last.

 

She grabbed Regina's thigh and led her back towards the bench. Discarding her jacket and tank top in the process. She sat Regina down and started to work on getting her boots off. The mayor didn't waste any time either and got to work on the Sheriffs jeans. A few seconds and tasteful kisses later, they were both in nothing but underwear.

 

She laid Regina down on the bench, letting a knee brace against Regina's centre. The mayor let out a soft moan and pulled at blond hair. The throbbing at Emma's core was getting worse.

 

Her breathing had increased to a point where Regina thought the Sheriff might pass out from lack of oxygen. The Mayor let her hands run along the blondes inner thigh and dipped it underneath the boy shorts to reach the sensitive flesh waiting for her. Emma took in a deep breath at the shock of contact.

 

"That's my girl." Regina half moaned, half breathed.

 

The sheriff needed more contact. She grabbed Regina's arm and lifted her lightly from the bench to get to the clasp at her back. The mayor didn't stop her ministrations under the blondes underwear and the act made Emma struggle with the offensive garment. Once it was loose, Regina helped her to take it off, but the movement required her to let go of Emma. The sheriff moaned, protesting at the loss of contact. They made quick work of the rest of their underwear too, neither wanting to waste time again.

 

As soon as it was off, Emma placed Regina's hand exactly where she needed it. Another shocked breath and moan landed her face first in the mayors neckline. She breathed in the honey scented skin and kissed her way down Regina's chest, Taking a breath whenever Regina's finger skimmed close to a sensitive spot. It was sloppy and uncoordinated as she had no concentration left.

 

Regina knew that if she wanted to enjoy it she would have to let the potion run it's course. She felt a fear that Emma might not want to continue once it does but decided to go ahead anyway. When Emma stopped once again, Regina took the opportunity and plunged two fingers into the blonde. Emma nearly lunged off the bench at the invasion.

 

Regina used her other hand to stabilize the blonde and keep her still. She continued her rhythm increasing it after every few thrusts until she felt the blonde contract around her fingers.

 

Emma let out a loud moan that hitched in her throat. "Regina." She breathed as the waves of euphoria washed over her. Her coordination quickly returned and she continued kissing down Regina's jaw line. When she moved to get a little lower she caught brown eyes questioning her.

 

"Do you want to stop?" She asked the brunette underneath her.

 

"Don't you?" Regina's question held a fear. A fear Emma could see and hear.

 

"No." Emma smiled.

 

"But the potion..."

            "Fuck the potion." Emma said with a smile that was returned by the mayor. Soon they crashed their lips together again. This time there was hope and promise within it.

 

Emma continued what her uncontrolled mind had started, making her way down to Regina's breasts. When Emma took one of the heightened peeks in her mouth, Regina was greeted again with the strange hit from the jewel. It made her need it somewhere else.

 

"Lower. I need you...lower." The mayor breathed out.

 

Emma obliged and moved Regina to a seating position. Her legs hanging off the side of the bench. Emma got off and kneeled between Regina's knees. There was something powerful about the savior kneeling before her queen, Regina thought. Emma kissed the insides of Regina's thighs and made her way up to the pearl her heart desired.

 

Regina gently stroked blonde hair until she felt that familiar hit. Emma had her tongue flat against Regina's folds. Her piercing directly on a sensitive spot. Regina grabbed and pulled at hair while grinding to Emma's rhythm. Metal, flesh, metal, flesh was the dance that Emma directed. The sensation was too much for Regina to bare and soon she was overcome with toe curling paradise.

 

Emma stayed in her position until the last wave ended. Then leaned up to give Regina the most passionate kiss she could muster. The queen held unto the saviors face. Brown orbs asking green for a silent promise. But then Emma smiled and...

 

"Do you have any more of that potion?"

 

 

 

 


End file.
